Today I am reminded of the lost potential of 2020, and I felt that I needed to share a few thoughts.
A year ago today, my Kickstarter for my first book concluded. The campaign began right before the lockdown down for the COVID 19 pandemic. During the length of the campaign, I, and many others, shifted to working from home, the cases of C19 spread across the country and world, people began losing their incomes, and others lost their lives. We have many moments to track this pandemic's timeline in our lives. I feel today is a singular moment, more deeply felt than any other moment that has come before.
I am not alone in saying that 2020 was going to be my year. For me, the singular event of 2020 was that after over two decades of working towards seeing the world in my head become a reality. I was lined up to be a Featured Artist at Gen Con, where I would premiere the book to the world. There were plans to return to Italy for a family vacation. There were other travel and conventions planned. I was firing on all cylinders with my work, and 2020 would be the launch of a whole new cycle of illustrations and writing for the following books. No need for me to tell you, like all of us, 2020 did not go as planned.
None of what I am saying is new, but I think the events and trauma we have experienced and continue to live through need reflection and time to process. The book was funded, it was printed, and I have hundreds of copies. The dream was seen to fruition. My efforts made real, and my hard work saw its ultimate conclusion. The party, the celebrations, the excitement of seeing people with my book in their hands never came. Likely, it will not even come this year, 2021. Vaccines are rolling out. I feel a change in the air. There is hope once again we will be able to socialize and participate in the events we have grown to love and need. But 2021 still feels too soon. I know events are planned, people are going, but as much as I crave that experience again, it is too soon for me, too soon for us.
My wife is an ER nurse, and this past year has been beyond description. I will never fully understand what she has been through. I know what I have endured being this close to a frontline medical worker, and it is something I am not prepared to discuss. We have all met different challenges over the past twelve months, we have all lost something, and I sadly know we have more ahead of us.
There has been good that has happened as well. I have discovered new interests and skills. My book did get funded and printed. It is a reality. I, my family, and many of my friends have remained physically healthy so far. I have come to better understand what I want to do, what I need to do, and how best to use my time and energy to have a more balanced life. Many of the things that I had planned for 2020 appear to be waiting for me in 2022, save any further cataclysmic events. We endure. We continue.
Post a Comment